whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
