there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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