He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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