4 words: hood of his car
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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