brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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