I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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