Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
