small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do herpes really smell.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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