I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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