Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
