Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
