Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
