When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize