Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
