More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
