Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
