Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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