Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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