She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We need to get me chipped asap
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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