no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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