so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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