he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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