garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So squirting runs in the family.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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