i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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