I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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