found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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