she woke up with a sticky ear
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
