Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
