I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
