Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
