Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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