If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
