Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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