Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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