You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
