what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
