dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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