Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
