Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize