Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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