why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
