Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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