Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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