Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
