what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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