I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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