i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
