Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
