It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
