Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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