do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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