so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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