the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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