So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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