How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
