I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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