Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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