this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
