Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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