Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
