evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
