not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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